Football Season

I am having some mixed emotions about this upcoming football season. I am so excited it's football season but I'm afraid that I will not be able to enjoy it in it's entirety. You must be thinking, is it because the NFL is not as fun to watch anymore because its becoming less and less action and turning more into a soap opera?... maybe. Is it because college football is becoming more frustrating because you feel unsatisfied at the end of the season due to a controversial bowl system and it seems like the winner is decided more on politics than skill?... maybe. Is it because I'm so jacked up about Oklahoma City getting a basketball team that I just want to skip football season and go straight to basketball?... definitely not. I'm a little worried that I'm not going to be able to enjoy this coming season because I'm afraid to offend my family when I would rather be sitting on my couch in front of my 50" high-definition, 49er loving, Knicks hating, head cracking, sweat showing, baseball mocking, ultimate football system, instead of trolling around the mall shopping for my wifes 788th purse with shoes to match. Now, that is not a bash towards my wife, I'm simply stating that walking around the mall is more of her definition of spending time together. Where as, men could not find anything more attractive in a woman than someone who will sit next to him on a Sunday afternoon and watch the game with their man. Why is it that women do not want their men to watch football? Do woman not like the masculinity of a man? I believe they do, or else God would not have allowed us to have such a dominating characteristic to our personalities. Women need to understand that football is the main source to which a man's masculinity is derived. If men around the country started giving in to the request of their mates to not watch football and to spend more time on their wives, the national masculinity level will gradually start decreasing and men around the country will start getting softer. Numbers in our military would start decreasing because citizens would start being to afraid of confrontation to in-list and then we would have to go back to the drafting system. Looking at it like that, we owe it to our great nation to take a stand, and not give in to the pleas of our wives and to sit on our couch Monday nights and regenerate our body's masculine levels. Whose with me? Who loves their country enough to get rid of their old 20 incher and upgrade to high def?



I'll be at the mall all afternoon so leave a message if you want to take the stand.